Grieving? Why Not Sue McDonald’s?

Kid’s fat?  Hubby ugly?  Upset about global warming? Somalian pirates? The unfair neglect of your favorite American Idol?

ronaldmchummerDon’t worry.  Call any litigation attorney worth his or her salt and he or she will explain to you that while fate seems unpredictable and capricious, it’s really not.

In the end, everything is McDonald’s fault.

The good news is they’ve got lots of money that you can sue them for, and no one will side with them no matter how stupid or self-serving you or your lawsuit are.

Here’s the latest human tragedy that is somehow McDonald’s fault.

According to the St. Petersburg Times, a couple of young drunken guys got into a brawl that turned deadly.  The aggressor, 21-year-old Anthony Makowski, died about 4:30 a.m. after starting a fight with Martin Robles-Taylor.

Makowski, a 6-foot-4, 270-pound former high school football player, allegedly charged Robles-Taylor, body-slamming him at least once and battering him on the ground. Robles-Taylor, who had been through basic training in the Army, managed to put Makowski in a choke hold that killed him.

Prosecutors decided a couple of years ago that the video evidence didn’t support criminal charges against Robles-Taylor.

Of course, McDonald’s is clearly to blame for the tragic incident.  After all, it took place in their drive-thru lane which, as everyone knows, was built for the expressed purpose of drunken bare-fist brawls at 4 am.  Makowski’s parents are suing the McDonald’s franchise owner, as well as the owner of the shopping center, alleging that they should have had a 24-hour security guard there to prevent their drunken son from body-slamming people to the pavement of their drive-thru.

As usual, the Plaintiff’s allege It’s not about the money.

Others in the McDonald’s frivolous lawsuit collection:

Disabled? Why Not Sue McDonald’s

Celebrate BreastFeeding Month! Entrap a McDonald’s Today!

Devo Suing McDonald’s Over Stupid Hat

Grubb-y McDonald’s Franchisee Must Pay $500K, Stop Biting Employees’ Breasts


image: RonaldMchummer

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